the "M" word

marriage is considered an important turning point in one's life. every young girl or boy looks forward to meeting the person of her or his dreams. a good mate is a major goal in life and young people are almost "indoctrinated" with the importance of finding one. however, relations between man and woman are fundamentally based on unsound grounds in ignorant societies, namely societies in which people do not accept the Qur'anic way of life: "friendships" are solely romantic relationships in which both sexes seek emotional satisfaction. yet, marriages are usually based on mutual material benefits. many women try to find a "prosperous man" in expectation of a high standard of living. for such a purpose, a young girl may easily accept to be the life-long spouse of someone for whom she has no affection. on the other hand, what a man seeks in a woman is very often "good looks".

yet the rationale behind the viewpoint of an ignorant society neglects a crucial fact: all these materialistic values are eventually doomed to perish; Allah can take back the fortune of a man in a moment. similarly, it takes but a few seconds to lose good looks; as city dwellers, for instance, our daily commuting to and from work can at any time be thwarted by an accident that may leave hideous and permanent scars on the face. time, meanwhile, deals irrecoverable damage to our health, strength and beauty. under such unpredictable conditions, what consequences are there in a system based on purely materialistic values? for instance, think of a man who only marries a woman because he is impressed by her good looks. what would he think if her face is badly injured in an accident? would he leave her when wrinkles start to appear on her face? the answers no doubt reveal the unreasonable basis of materialistic thinking.

the type of marriage acceptable in the presence of Allah is, however, based on totally different criteria. contrary to the marriages common in an ignorant society, where people are heedless about earning the good pleasure of Allah, the criteria is not money, fame or beauty; but a marriage intended to gain His good pleasure. for believers, the only criterion is taqwa, in other words, 'the avoidance of all that is prohibited, the fulfilment of all that is commanded, and the fear of Allah.' consequently, a believer can only marry someone who displays a deep loyalty to Allah. people find peace and happiness in this marriage. the relevant verse follows:

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.
[QS ar-Rum 21]

taqwa being the sole bond, believers will surely meet a pleasant life in the Hereafter. as they remind each other righteousness and guide one another to the paradise all through their lives, they will also remain close friends for all eternity [the true soulmate!]. their relations are described as follows:

The believers, men and women, are protectors one of another: they enjoin what is just, and forbid what is evil: they observe regular prayers, practice regular charity, and obey Allah and His messenger. On them will Allah pour His mercy: for Allah is exalted in power, Wise.
[QS at-Tawbah 71]